What are some of the pros and cons of dating a partner who is not a vegan/vegetarian/ etc. in a relationship? (Married people please tell us about your marriage experiences if you are a veg and your spouse is not)

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I have yet to have a vegan mate but my previous boyfriends have always been respectful and supportive of my diet. One of the cons of a female having a meat and dairy eating partner are that his sperm is acid. This causes issues with the female reproductive system during sex. I wrote a brief post about the man's role in the health of his child: http://divinewiz.com/2013/10/17/how-to-make-happy-healthy-babies/

Then there's the whole aspect of raising a child. The vegan parent wants the child to be vegan but the meat-eater may not agree. Even if he/she does agree, children learn by example.

Then there's the meat eater's family...you're invited to dinner and that could be tricky to navigate. Imagine if they are your in-laws. Would you feel comfortable having them baby-sit?

At my table anyone invited had to eat my food and guess what no complaints ! , the problem is the conception that we are some kind of  throw back to the 60's hippies era ! , also the lack of education that meat eaters have towards vegetarians us due to the fact society promotes in munching through the dead .  

Dating a meat eater means being ready for the possible failure of the relationship.

Starting with the idea that we will change whatever is not suitable according to our standards in our other better half is a recipe for disaster on the short term or the long term depending on that person's resilience.

But in any case, our grievances and efforts to enforce changes on thoughts and lifestyle implies a tacit moral judgement diminishing that person's esteem of herself, a game of psychological and love blackmail linked to deep psychological mechanisms we often underestimate.

Changes and convertion to vegetarianism or veganism have to come from the person herself without any pressure from anywhere. That is the only guarantee of success for adoption of the veg. lifestyle hence of the relationship to work longterm.

Otherwise, at some point, the person's true nature will come back, it always does. And if the person is a little submissive or is psychologically dependent due to some patterns related to attachement (interesting works by Bowlby, Lorenz, etc.), it might blow up unexpectedly and quite violently.

Being with someone may require minor adjustments but not be conditioned by major changes such as going from meat eater to veg.

We should take the other person as they are and be sure they make us happy as they are.

If we want to "fix" the other, it's not good.

We should also be prepared that this person might at some point be more flexitarian than vegetarian.

We should also explain to them the notion of carnism which usually makes more sense than just explain we are veg. because we love animals.

Starting directly with a quiet and respectful explanation on

carnism and some good foolproof studies that animal are sentient like a down to earth logical adult has more impact

than behaving like a screaming teenage banshee and using the guilt and disgust argument everytime they get their cheese and steack out.

Exposing quietly with confidence, carnism, sentient animals, vegetarian or vegan lifestyle will also raise the veil on a big part of your meat-eating better half's personality and might save you time for later. For me a partner who would be vegan would also be engaged in changing civil society, engaged in environmental issues starting by our lifestyle, engaged in human rights and animal rights, an feminist. THAT IS ALREADY ABOUT MUCH MORE THAN JUST NOT EATING MEAT.

1/ you could discover that his/her opinions are far too different to be compatible.

2/ that they are in a contradiction pattern, always take the opposite side even if they agree, going to the point of contradicting themselves within the same 15 mn of conversation. Alarm bell, unresolved psychological pb from childhood and maybe from past relationships. This person may drive you nuts with time, for everything, they will automatically and unconsciously always fall in the same pattern of opposing you.

I am a vegan because not eating dairy is related to women and beyond, female and children condition which in turn is related to non violence and rights beyond human rights but closely related to human rights and slavery. I believe it is  not good to live in an environment receiving so much negative vibrations through the violence we impose on animals/other living beings we have submitted to our rule, without which we would not have survived or evolved troughout thousands of years of evolution.

I am a vegan because I am concerned with environmental issues and damage caused to our planet.

Damages caused to fauna, flora, pollution, superficial consumerist and poisonous lifestyle destroying ourselves, destroying a planet.

I am a vegan because it also fits within my idea of living a sustainable lifestyle supporting local and/or organic businesses with humane practices commited to being an actor of the country they are in (unlike Amazon for inst. treats employees like crap and pays no taxes in any European country).

Because I believe in degrowth and a completely different way of approaching economics, exchanges, social structures at national and international level, I do not believe in growth and economic patterns as imposed on the planet for the last 200 years.

Because all of the above (and much more) are also related to education and free-thinking, critical-thinking.

Because being vegan is also a political choice.

If my partner's vision of life is not along the same lines, then how could we work together on the long term ? At some point, the relationship will fail.

No dating a meat eater even if I have to be single all my life, I thing for me been Vegan is like suport the cause jeje, besides Is not gonna work anyways

I could date a meat eater, but I couldn't be in relationship with one. I couldn't live in a house with somebody that cooks dead corpse in our kitchen. I was for 2 years with my ex, and living with veg was so right, that I couldn't live with meat eater now. Seriously, not a chance. But I could date one, and change one :)


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