Whether said as jokes, or even said seriously- these are a few 'argument' points that I've encountered in my time being a vegan. To each their own, but these are a few favorites I just had to tackle :)

"But the cows would be in pain and die if we didn't milk them"

No, No they would not die. Cows produce milk for one reason and one reason only- for their young. Cows in dairy farm settings are forcibly bred year after year; a constant cycle of pregnancy. THIS is why they produce milk all day every day of the year (that and a little help from hormones and dangerous additives to help create an unnatural production rate). In a natural setting where the mother cow would be able to keep her baby (because in dairy farms the baby calves are torn away from there mothers immediately after birth, never to be seen again), the baby would be able to feed off the mother- and when the calf was weened- the mothers milk production would stop. *gasp* yes, that's right-Cows are not magical milk machines that HAVE to be milked- they would do just fine without our intrusion.

What did you think cows did before humans came along and bred them into these unnatural money making commodities?

    Chickens lay eggs- what else are they going to do with them- we HAVE to eat them.

Firstly, eggs are chicken periods. Yes, the menstrual cycle of a chicken all bundled up in a little egg for you to fry up on a sandwich. The reason for chickens mass egg laying is again another result of human interference.  Chickens in the wild do not produce eggs daily, but only in the instance of a menstrual cycle or for hatching. Chicken in egg farms today have not only been specifically bred to produce eggs at a massive rate, but they are also fed feed that is laced with growth hormones, antibodies, and chemicals to ensure a high yield of eggs. This is completely unnatural. If people stopped feeding production chickens their 'chem feed' and let them ease back into a natural life cycle- we would not have an over abundance of eggs and HAVE to eat them. In all truth- we don't HAVE to eat eggs at all. I don't know about you, but the longer I go without eggs the happier I am, knowing I'm not munching on chicken period goo and all that.

    If we stopped eating meat- animals would take over the world!

Sorry to burst your bubble, but Adolf Heifer isn't going to be taking over the globe anytime soon. I can't tell you how many times I've heard this one- and again, it's a bunch of crap. Just like the dairy cow and the egg farm hen the only reason they are what they are is because of humans interfering with mother nature. So called 'livestock' (which is cruelty in itself- they are people too!) are raised, bred, and managed all by the hands of humans. Livestock animals are bred at a massive rate and because of this, their population is many. So what would happen if people began going meatless? The demand for meat would decrease- as would the massive breeding of the animals the meat comes from. Over time, the amount of factory farms would be little to non, and we would no longer have such a huge population of "livestock'.

    Vegetables feel pain too!

Every time I hear this- a little piece of my soul dies. This shouldn't even be an argument- but alas, people use it time and time again in their attempts to bash the veg lifestyle. Lets compare broccoli with a pig.

When you cut a pig- it bleeds, screams, and eventually dies. When you chop up broccoli, the biggest reaction you're likely to get is it rolling off the cutting board ( and NOT because it's trying to get away).

When you pick a head of broccoli -it regenerates and grows a new one. When you slice the pigs head off- it dies. Forever.

The pig you like to make bacon buddies with was once a living thing with a conscience and emotional ability. It felt fear, sadness, and pain it's entire life. It cowered from the factory farm workers with their metal rods, hoping not to get beaten again. The pig was smarter than a 4 year old child, and had the cognitive abilities to recognize voices, faces, and learn.    As for the head of broccoli? What do you think?

Vegetables do not feel pain, and are not an excuse to keep eating animals. Do not ever use this on a vegan unless you want to get sucker punch in the face. It makes you look ridiculous and a little bit sad.